Goodbyes are Necessary and Healthy
What is it that we value most at end of life? I have many friends and even more “friends” on Facebook. Each of those friendships mean something different to me. Some of my “friends” are people whom I have a strong relationship with, while with others may not be closely connected to my life at the present moment. At one point in time, they may have been very important to me, whether they were a friend, an acquaintance, a co-worker, a co-student, etc. They were people with whom I had relationships, some close and some, not as much. Some of those relationship were a result of events that have happened in the past, moments that I hold onto. I, like a lot of people do this … we hold onto the past, to relationships, to things – just because we always have.
I feel like I have some of those types of relationships with events that have happened in the past. Moments that I hold on to, only because I have always just held on to them. The thing is, a lot of people do the same. The more patients I talk with about forgiveness, regret, or the meaning in life the more I notice these things in our lives that we hold on to, just because we always have. There are many things, relationships, or regrets that can hold us back at the end of life and create weight on our shoulders because they no longer have meaning or life-giving energy within them.
I’ve started to let go and realize that we all have necessary goodbyes. I now understand that it is HEALTHY to say goodbye. Saying goodbye creates space in life for new life and energy, for new opportunities, for new discoveries, and for new comforts and support. Think about your life and the things, relationships, emotions, regrets, sorrows, guilt, shame, etc. that do not add value to your life. Get rid of them. Say ‘goodbye’ because goodbyes are necessary and healthy … goodbye is not just a source of grief, it can also bring life, healing, and hope.
Becky J., M.Div
Meridian Spiritual Care Provider
Heart ‘n Home Hospice & Palliative Care