Recently when visiting a couple of patients in a nursing facility, I was holding the hand of a little lady with severe dementia and talking to her softly and calmly. She was unable to communicate with words because of her disease progression, but she spoke volumes of thanks to me when she pulled my hand up and kissed the back of it. This non-verbal gesture spoke to my heart, encouraged my day, and reminded me just how a few extra moments to reach out to someone with love, especially those who can’t request it, can make a world of difference for both people. Hospice made this moment possible.
Dementia Only Stopped Her Words
My Mom’s Hospice Story
My mom fought to live with courage and determination. We spent months going to treatments three days a week, transfusions, and ER visits because her will to live was so strong. I could see things were not going well and that treatments were not helping, but she wanted to fight and it was her battle … I was just there to support and do all I could to help.
One day, we went to treatment and could hardly get her out of the car and into the house. She was so weak, so tired, and her life was fading. Her cancer clinic could not bring themselves to tell her that treatments were not working, but I knew. I believe they wanted her to make the choice, knowing she did not want to die. Sometimes making choices is out of our hands. As caregivers, we must often take situations into our own hands and know hospice is ours to use.
I called for hospice, and even though we only had hospice for less than 24 hours, our hospice Nurse brought a calmness and understanding of what was needed. My mom was in discomfort from pressure on her lungs. She did not share this or possibly didn’t realize it herself. Her Nurse immediately identified the problem and took the necessary steps to alleviate her pain. My mom opened her eyes, smiled at her Nurse, and said, “I love you!” At that moment, my mom knew she would be comfortable and could finally relax. As a family, we were able to be together peacefully. She had a calm night and passed quietly onto her next journey the following day.
With hospice we received understanding, assurance, and direction at a time when our emotions and stress were high. All we wanted for Mom was peace, comfort, and for her to pass in her own home surrounded by the ones she loved. My only regret is that we did not have hospice sooner. Hospice brings comfort and kindness in your darkest hour. Hospice made this time possible with my mom.
Trust and Boundaries with a Team
“I am big and strong and hardly ever wrong.”
“I am borderline beautiful.”
“I trust you infinitely more than my Marine comrades.”
These are just a couple quotes from patients that have found an everlasting place in my heart for one reason or another. I am still what you can call a “baby Nurse.” August was one year since my dream came true and I became an RN. I worked med-surg and always felt like something was missing, like I was not fulfilling my true potential as a Nurse. Then I became a Hospice Nurse, which has been life changing to say the least. At first it was a tough transition for me, I was not used to having an entire TEAM that stood beside me to help give a patient the BEST care ever. I was used to having to double and triple check that things were done because if they were not … the responsibility was the nurse’s to carry.
I write this with tears in my eyes because the hospice team is seriously the greatest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I have called Hospice CNAs to ask questions that “any” good Nurse should already know and not once did they belittle me or treat me like the dummy I often felt like while transitioning into this new field. I have felt an abundance of joy when I can tell my team that I need them and know hands down they have my back as well as the rest of the team.
From the Office Manager correcting my mistakes to the Clinical Director taking time out of her already busy day to help me – they have all have taught me so much about trust. On my worst day here when I went home in tears thinking I had failed at my job, they were there calling me. Then I went to bed KNOWING that I would never again work anywhere besides where I am.
Boundaries and trust – that is what Heart ‘n Home has taught me. By nature I am the person that upon meeting you, will do absolutely anything in the world to see your smile. My husband told me that I could make best friends with the homeless guy on the corner in less than five seconds. I have a heart that is 20 sizes too big, which I have learned can be both a blessing and a curse. This leads to trust. Trust in the team. There are things I don’t have the answer to, but thankfully I have a team that does.
To my team, I want you ALL to know that even if it didn’t come easy at first, I trust you and that you are all so very precious. I cannot thank you enough for everything you do every single day. This job is such a precious gift. Knowing you guys is the greatest blessing.
Nicole M., RN
Fruitland Case Manager
Subscribe to our Blog
Recent Comments
- Tonia Atkins on Volunteer Spotlight – Jackie Koski
- Doreen Paul on Volunteer Spotlight – Jackie Koski
- Amy Hughes on Artificial Flowers Needed! La Grande Donation Drive
- Jack Kyle on My Fight Against Cancer: A Hospice Nurse’s Story
- Shona on A Sign From the Other Side
- Jo Breneman and Mark Colling on My Fight Against Cancer: A Hospice Nurse’s Story
Categories
- CARE Program
- Caregiving Tips
- Cold and Flu Prevention
- Community
- Depression
- Diseases and Conditions
- Grief and Loss Support
- Heart 'n Home News & Events
- Heart Health
- Holiday Articles
- Honoring Veterans at End of Life
- Hospice Education
- Inspiring Stories
- MISC
- Moments of Life: Made Possible by Hospice
- Planning and Retirement
- Self Care
- Spiritual Care
- Testimonies About Heart 'n Home
- Uncategorized
- Veteran
- Volunteering in Hospice
- Working at Heart 'n Home